


A Letter From Me To You

by markjinnology



Category: GOT7, Markjin - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:28:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21927451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/markjinnology/pseuds/markjinnology
Summary: Jinyoung has a unique way of moving on with his feelings. He likes to write a letter to the boy he's ever loved. These letters were signed, dated, and addressed, but were never to be sent. That is until someone sent them out for him.
Relationships: Im Jaebum | JB/Park Jinyoung, Park Jinyoung/Jackson Wang, Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Comments: 18
Kudos: 106





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! After a long time I am back haha. I'm planning on spreading the #markjin spirit again this year with a short story. If anyone has seen the movie ‘To All The Boys I Loved Before’ or read the book by Jenny Han, this is an adaption of that with a twist of my own imagination. (:
> 
> I wish you a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year! ♡
> 
> -markjinnology

♡

This was absurd. Who would actually consider doing a holiday cleaning over the holidays? Jinyoung grumbles to himself, meanwhile, briefly scanning the paper he picks up off his desk before tossing it into the trash. He would rather spend today’s free day off work lazing in bed until the afternoon. In reality, he got woken up at nine in the morning by his aunt with a pillow to his face. Organizing his desk did not take a whole lot of time. He usually kept his desk and room pretty neat and clean, therefore, he didn’t see the reason why he had to join in on the crazy ritual of holiday cleaning.

“Jinyoung hyung, remember those DVDs I borrowed from you?” A voice came from his bedroom door. Looking up from his desk Jinyoung narrows his eyes to his cousin, Kim Yugyeom.

“No, I do not recollect ever lending you anything.”

“Well,” Yugyeom draws out pulling out a small stack of DVDs he hid behind him. “It’s right here. I’m just going to set them on your desk.” The younger male says sheepishly as he made his way in.

Jinyoung rolls his eyes moving to work at sorting out his clothes in his closet, “I don’t understand why you guys have this holiday cleaning. There’s spring cleaning you know? When it is done during the spring.”

“Well, you’re living under our household and if you don’t like it you can always leave hyung.” Yugyeom teases sticking out his tongue.

“Real mature for a sophomore in college.” Jinyoung retorts back shaking his head. “You know I can’t afford an apartment yet, and besides where you guys live is pretty close to where I work. It’s convenient.”

“Well then stop complaining.”

“Yah!”

Before Jinyoung can chuck the hanger in his hand at his younger cousin, the tall male already dashed out of his door. Cackling down the hallway back to his room. Jinyoung mutters ‘twerp’ under his breath as he goes back to sorting out the clothes he wants and doesn’t anymore. Working his way through the closet Jinyoung moves to take down the items he stored up on the shelf. Pulling out empty shoe boxes he encounters a familiar small plain brown box he had forgotten about. Life kept him busy so there wasn’t much chance for it to be used again. Perhaps it was a good thing? Taking the box in his hands he puts it on top of his desk.

Jinyoung lets out an uneasy breath unsure if he should even look at the contents of this box or just burn it. This was a special box filled with letters of words left unsaid to the ones Jinyoung had ever loved. When he wants to put a crush or a relationship behind him he writes them a letter, signed, dated, addressed, but never sent. It is for the best anyways. Some things were best left hidden in the dark.

“Jinyoung hyung!” Yugyeom’s voice booms from the hallway startling Jinyoung from his thoughts. His cousin’s face pops out once more from the doorway, “Mom says she’s ordering pizza for lunch.”

“Okay, tell auntie that’s fine with me.” Giving a brief reply he notices his young cousin staying rooted in his spot unmoving. “Why aren’t you going?”

“Mom wants you to go buy it.”

Putting his hands on his hips Jinyoung asks, “Why can’t you go? You know how to drive.”

“Mom ordered you to do it, duh.”

Heaving a sigh Jinyoung goes to grab his keys and pick up a jacket on his coat rack. He mutters death threats about his cousin as he walks past him to go down the stairs. Yugyeom can only smile as he bids his older cousin goodbye. Just as he was about to leave he spotted the box his hyung was staring off into space with. Arching an eyebrow up as the box pique his interest he steps into the room to take a look. 

It was two days after the holiday cleaning when his nightmare began. Jinyoung was at work, working on his latest journal article he had to revise before submitting it to be published when he received a call. Glancing at the caller ID he didn’t think much of it since it was from his best friend. Sending his best friend straight to voicemail he quickly sends a text message that he can’t talk right now. Seconds later he receives a reply back telling him to call him when he gets the time.

When his lunch break came around Jinyoung stood up from his cubicle to stretch his body. He grabs his phone before leaving for lunch. Making his way out of the office building Jinyoung dials his best friend’s phone number remembering to call him. The line picked up on the second ring right when Jinyoung got inside his car.

“Hey, why did you call earlier?” Jinyoung asks buckling himself in his seat before starting his car. There was an awkward silence on the other line, “Jaebeom, are you there?”

His best friend clears his throat on the other line, “I-I appreciate your love Jinyoung, I mean you’re like a brother to me. But...you do understand why it’s never going to happen, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Jaebeom. Is this some sort of prank you’re trying to pull on me?” Jinyoung asks with a smile as he puts his best friend on the speaker of his car.

“The letter Jinyoung,” Jaebeom replies back, his tone indicating he was a bit on edge.

“What letter?” He asks as he looks through his rearview mirror to back out of the parking lot.

“The letter you wrote to me seven years ago.”

Jinyoung slams on his break jolting him in his seat. His heart was pounding. Did he hear right? “Wh-what did you say?” He asks feeling himself going weak.

“The letter you wrote to me seven years ago.”

Jinyoung thinks he’s about to faint, his knuckles turn white as he squeezes the car wheel in his grasp. “I-I got to go.” Before his best friend could say anything more he ends the call. He had just lost his appetite as he races out of the parking lot to go home. 

_‘Please don’t let this be true. Please don’t let this be true.’_ Jinyoung chants this under his breath over and over again as he races back home. Pulling up into the driveway he quickly parks and dashes to the front door and then up the stairs to his bedroom. Opening his closet door he grabs the small brown box containing his letters inside and threw the lid off. To his horror, the three letters he had written were gone.

This can’t be happening.

Jinyoung has a unique way of moving on with his feelings. He likes to write a letter to the boy he's ever loved. These letters were signed, dated, and addressed, but were never to be sent. That is until someone sent them out for him.

♡


	2. Part 01

♡

“Hyung, I said I’m sorry!” Yugyeom yells as Jinyoung wrestles him from the bed to the floor. “How was I supposed to know you didn’t want them to be sent?! Who writes a letter which was...addressed...and...stamped...to...NOT...be...mailed!” He defends trying to make out his words as Jinyoung’s chokehold tightens around his throat.

“I’m gonna kill you Kim Yugyeom! Auntie can’t do anything about this!” Jinyoung yells back as Yugyeom struggles to get out of his grasp. 

“Bam...bam! Help me!” The younger calls out to his best friend who was witnessing everything in the room.

Examining the scene a few more seconds the Thai replies back. “I don’t think so. I don’t wanna face Jinyoung hyung’s wrath.”

“Traitor!”

“Jinyoung hyung, I think you might actually kill him.” Youngjae, who was Jinyoung’s hoobae at work and close friend, says with concern laced in his voice.

After finding out about the letters being sent out Jinyoung called in sick suddenly to work. Apparently, it was convincing as his supervisor quickly dismissed him for the rest of the day. Youngjae had messaged him when he found out he suddenly fell ill during lunch break. He filled him in on what had happened as he waited for Yugyeom to return home from school. He knew his cousin was the only one who could have done it and he was right.

“That’s _exactly_ what I’m trying to do here Youngjae!”

“Violence isn’t the answer hyung.”

“Hell yeah, it is.” Bambam comments as Yugyeom glares at his best friend.

“You’re not helping the situation,” Youngjae warns the Thai who shrugs his shoulder. “What’s done is done hyung. Now we just need to figure out what to do next.”

“I already figured out what I need to do. Kill Yugyeom and then move to another country where no one can find me.” Jinyoung replies back as Youngjae pries him off Yugyeom. Yugyeom scrambles out of his cousin’s hold as he gasps for air. Tired and feeling deflated his shoulder sags as he sighs. “My life is over Youngjae. My life is completely over.”

“Your life is not completely over.”

“Yes, it is. My best friend keeps calling me every five minutes trying to get a hold of me. I don’t even know how to explain my letter to him.” Covering his face with his hands he groans. “Our friendship is going to be awkward after this.” 

Youngjae gives his shoulder a squeeze, “I’m sure it won’t be that awkward. I mean, do you still like him?”

“No, that was seven years ago!” Jinyoung groans in his hands again, “I had a crush on him when I was sixteen!”

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Looking up from his hands Jinyoung peers up at his dongsaeng, “Youngjae, you don’t get it. He was never supposed to find out about my feelings for him. Until this brat ruined it!” He glares at Yugyeom who was across the room.

“Hey, hey, try to calm down hyung.” Youngjae hushes trying to calm an angry Jinyoung down. “If you don’t mind me asking. How many letters were there?”

Not seeing the point of hiding anything anymore since the letters were already out, Jinyoung lets out a defeated sigh. ”I wrote three letters.” He noticed Youngjae sat down on the floor beside him as Yugyeom sat across the room beside Bambam listening quietly. “These letters were words left unsaid to the ones I had ever loved. When I want to put a crush or a relationship behind me I write them a letter that is signed, addressed, and stamped. But never to be sent.”

“Well, that’s stupid.” Yugyeom comments under his breath.

“Says the idiot who sent the letters without _asking_ first.” Jinyoung says seething under his breath.

“I thought you forgot to mail them and was doing you a favor!” Yugyeom defends as Youngjae quiet the both of them down.

“So...who were those letters to?” Bambam asks intrigued by the story.

“Why do you care Bambam?” Jinyoung asks, everyone who was close enough to Jinyoung knew he was homosexual so it didn’t come as a surprise if the letters he wrote were to males. 

“Well, I don’t really. But this story you're telling is fascinating. I have to know more.”

“If you don’t mind Jinyoung hyung, it is pretty interesting.” Youngjae adds giving a sheepish smile. Jinyoung sighs shaking his head just as he thought earlier, he didn’t see the point in hiding it from these three anyways since they know what happened already.

Clearing his throat he begins, “The first letter I wrote to was to my best friend, Im Jaebeom. You can say he was my first crush.” Memories of seven years ago resurface so easily into his mind as if it was just yesterday.

_Jinyoung stares up at his bedroom ceiling with his hands over his heart. He was trying to calm down his pounding heart. At the age of fourteen, he figured out he wasn’t interested in the opposite sex. When he turned fifteen he came out to his parents and confessed to his childhood best friend that he was attracted to men. Instead of his best friend disregarding him completely liked his parents, his best friend supported him with open arms. And now, at the age of sixteen, he realized he has a crush on his best friend._

_‘How could I let this happen?’ Jinyoung asks himself this over and over again. He knew he shouldn’t fall in love with his best friend when he was the only one who truly supported him. His parents pretended to ignore that his confession of his sexuality ever existed probably hoping it was just a phase._

_Jinyoung could not bear the fact of losing his best friend who kept him grounded. Their friendship will end if he ever found out. “Why him?” He whispers to himself. Perhaps he was the only male he felt safe enough to fall for. Or was it the sweet reassuring smile he always gives him? Perhaps it was his personality, he was sweet and kind especially for always feeding the stray cats? Was it his chic bad boy vibes he fell for?_

_Shaking his head to clear his thoughts it doesn’t really matter how he came to like his best friend. He just knows he needs to stop. Easier said than done though._

_“Jinyoung, are you even listening to what I am saying?” A hand wave in front of Jinyoung’s face snapping him from his daydream. He found himself admiring his best friend’s face as he talked. The two of them decided to hang out at the dessert shop near their school after school as always._

_“Yeah, I was listening,” Jinyoung answers as Jaebeom gives him the look that says he doesn’t buy it but doesn’t point it out._

_“Anyways, so mom finally decided to let me keep the stray cat near our apartment building. Can you believe it? I finally got myself a cat.” Jaebeom explains excitedly as he takes a sip of his coke afterward._

_Ignoring his quickened heartbeats he swallows down his feelings, “Pretty sure a few years from now you’ll have more than four cats.” Jinyoung jokes earning a playful shove to his shoulder._

_“Shut up you twerp,” Jaebeom replies back with a grin spreading across his face making Jinyoung do the same. “Hey, did you see the way Ae-young looked at me today? I think she likes me.”_

_Jinyoung can feel his smile quickly dropping. In an attempt to hide his change of demeanor he looks down at his drink to take a sip. He knew Jaebeom could never like him back, but hearing someone you like to talk about someone else still stung._

_“Anyways, I’m planning to ask her out sometime this week once I gather my confidence. You’ll help me when I ask her outright?” Jinyoung looks up to find his best friend staring at him pleadingly. How could he not? It’s not like he ever stood a chance and their friendship was precious to him._

_With a weak smile, he says, “Of course.”_

_That night, as usual, his parents asked about his day at school and avoiding the talks of boys. After dinner, he went up to his room to do homework. Halfway through answering math questions, Jinyoung stopped. Finding some lettering paper and envelope inside his parent’s room he sat back down in his desk. He was going to write a letter to Jaebeom explaining exactly how he feels about him. After that, this letter was going to be put away along with his feelings for his best friend. Letting out a sigh he picks up his pen to begin writing._

_Dear Jaebeom…_

“Wait, so you just gave up your feelings for your best friend just like that?” Bambam cuts in on Jinyoung’s story. 

The older rolls his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest to explain. “Obviously no, it took a while but writing the letter helped with the process.” 

“This is so sad.” A sad-looking Youngjae comments beside Jinyoung.

“Yah, I don’t need pity! Besides, it was ages ago. I only see him as a best friend now.” 

“Then just tell Jaebeom hyung that.” Yugyeom suggests as Jinyoung’s phone vibrate for the hundredth time that night. It was probably Jaebeom messaging Jinyoung to pick up the phone.

“My worst fear was our friendship changing and for him to look at me differently. I-I can’t face him yet. I don’t want to see that look on his face like how my parents look at me.” He confesses hugging himself of his insecurity. After high school, he moved out into the dorms for college. His relationship with his parents was distant ever since he came out. Till this day his parents never fully accepted who he was, although he noticed his mother was trying to understand him more lately. His aunt fully welcomed him with open arms to live with her husband, Yugyeom, and her after college. He knows his aunt fills in how he’s doing to his mother now and then.

Youngjae wraps his arms around him to give him a hug, “It’s okay Jinyoung hyung, we’re all here for you.”

“Thanks, Youngjae,” Jinyoung mutters patting the younger on the arm to let him know he appreciates it.

“I’m sorry for putting this mess on you Jinyoung hyung. I really didn't mean for this to happen.” Yugyeom apologizes as he rubs the nape of his neck.

“I forgive you Yugyeom. I know you meant no harm.” He gives a smile to his younger cousin who returns a small smile back.

“I’m glad you guys worked it out in the end. But I must know who were the other two letters for?” Turning to glare at Bambam the Thai could only look back at him eagerly. The boy was completely intrigued with his love life.

“Bambam shut up. That’s so impolite.” Yugyeom scowls his best friend hitting him on the stomach.

“I’m sorry, that’s very rude of me.” Just as Jinyoung was about to accept his apology the Thai added, “Can you tell us the rest of your story please?” Yugyeom sighs shaking his head for best friend shamelessness. Jinyoung felt the corner of his lips curving upward to a smile. He has to give the young man some respect for not being afraid to say what he wants and for being so intrigued with his love life. Just as he was about to speak his aunt knocks on the door to Yugyeom’s room.

“Sorry to interrupt, but Jinyoung honey, Jaebeom is waiting at the front door, he said he can’t get a hold of you and he’s been wanting to speak with you. I’ll let him know you’ll be down in a few minutes, okay?” Aunt Kim explains before disappearing from the doorway. 

Jinyoung feels all the blood draining from his face. “I think I’m gonna be sick.” 

“Okay, okay, calm down. Everything is going to be fine.” Youngjae words come out in a frazzle making it hard to believe that everything was alright. 

Scrambling off the floor Jinyoung goes towards the bedroom window and pries it open. It was a good thing the house was just a two-story building. He could easily climb out the window to the first-floor roof and climb down to the ground.

“I gotta get out of here. I just can’t face him today. Neither one of you guys say a word you hear me?” Jinyoung warns facing the three men with a stern look. All three nod their heads in agreement as they watch Jinyoung put a foot out the window and begin crawling through it. “I’ll come back in a few hours. Text me when he leaves. Bye.” Bidding a quick goodbye he has the rest of his body leave out the window. Just as he turns around to slowly walk down the roof he loses his footing sending him rolling down the roof. With a thud, he landed in the bush. Groaning he gets up shaking the leaves off of him. As he looks up to his cousin’s bedroom window three pairs of eyes were already staring at him.

“Jinyoung hyung are you okay?!” Youngjae whisper yells.

“I’m okay!” Jinyoung whisper yells back putting up a thumbs up. He was grateful it wasn’t a high fall and that the bush gave him a softer landing. Peeking around the corner of the house he sees Jaebeom waiting at the front door. He makes a mad dash to hide behind his car, it was no use to travel by car if Jaebeom was going to notice him in a flash. This meant going on foot to the nearby convenience store to hide out until the coast was clear.  
  


  
♡

**‘I know what you’re doing Jinyoung. Stop avoiding me.’**

**Jaebeom 10:13**

Jinyoung lets out a dejected sigh. That’s all he’s been really doing these last few days. He has managed to avoid Jaebeom at all costs, but for how long? He knows he should just face his best friend and talk to him. But every time he thinks of doing so the thought of just facing Jaebeom has him turning around and running. Plus, the other two letters have not returned which meant the others must have gotten his letter to. It was only a matter of time until those two show up back into his life as well. Rubbing his temples his headache is coming back again.

A tap on his shoulder has him swiveling around in his armchair. Youngjae looks down at him with pity. Seeing just how distressed his hoobae was breaking his heart.

“Jinyoung hyung, why don’t you go take an early break? I’ll take over your shift for the time being.”

Jinyoung didn’t even have the energy to deny the offer. Instead, with a slight nod of his head, he got up from his chair and took his jacket before leaving the building. He walks aimlessly down the street not really knowing where to go. A shiver runs down his body from the cold bite of the weather. It seems like it will be snowing any day now. His stomach rumbles announcing that it was hungry. After all, he did skip breakfast this morning. He ended up at a nearby coffee shop to get some coffee and a light snack. Taking a bite of his sandwich his eyes go to look out of the big window watching the passerby. His body begins to relax, ever since the last few days his body had been on high alert and stressed. Listening to Christmas songs playing in the overhead helped too. 

The vibration of his cell phone interrupted his peace. Rummaging it out of his pocket Jinyoung doesn’t recognize the caller ID. He hesitates to answer the call. Could it be one of the other two men whom he wrote the letters to? Should he pick it up? Swallowing down the last bit of food he was chewing he suddenly doesn’t feel hungry anymore. 

‘Okay, it’s fine. Everything is fine, just keep calm.’ He reminds himself to take in a deep breath to calm his nerves. Picking up the call he puts the device to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hello, you’re receiving this call from Mortgage Shin Hyojung. Are you interested in buying an-” Before the person can say anything further Jinyoung hits the end call and drops his phone on the table. Pinching his nose bridge he feels five years was taken off his life with just a phone call. Even though it was a scam call just the thought of receiving a phone call has him spooked.

‘I don’t think I can take any more of this any longer.’

His phone vibrates once again on the table, figuring it was the same scam call he picks it up without much thought. “What? I’m not interested in any mortgages.” 

“Jinyoung?”

The noises inside the coffee shop suddenly become muffled. Jinyoung eyes widen as his mouth hangs open in shock. Did he just hear that voice right?

“Jinyoung? It’s me, Jackson.”

‘Well, shit.’

Glancing down at his watch for the tenth time Jinyoung squirms in his seat. It was seven in the afternoon and he was sitting inside a restaurant waiting for his ex-boyfriend. Let’s rewind what happened for a moment.

After receiving a call from his ex-boyfriend Jinyoung was speechless. He managed to regain his voice and answer the guy. The call was awkward, he didn’t know what to say but so did his ex it seems. Instead of talking more on the phone his ex suggested to meet up over dinner and talk about the letter he received. Jinyoung was going to deny seeing him but decided against it as he realizes he’s got to face the issue somewhere. And he rather faces his ex-boyfriend first before facing his best friend. So they decided on tonight at the particular restaurant they always went to when they were together back during college.

Sitting there now while waiting for his said ex Jinyoung scans the room and notice a good amount of people there looked to be college students. Which made sense since this restaurant was near the college campus Jinyoung attended back then. He couldn’t help but remember his own college days.

_Jackson Wang was a foreigner from Hong Kong who took on a scholarship for fencing in Seoul. Jinyoung had met him during his sophomore year of college in communication class. The Hong Kong native was late for the first day of class and the only seat available was beside Jinyoung. So he strode up to the empty seat and plopped himself down and turn to face Jinyoung with a charming smile._

_“Nice to meet you, I’m Jackson Wang.” He introduced himself as he extends his hand for Jinyoung to take. The smile has Jinyoung blushing as he shook the foreigner hand in his. It was hard not to stare at him for the rest of the class period since the guy was so handsome._

_For some reason, Jackson decided to attach himself to Jinyoung after the class ended. Stating that Jinyoung was one of the few people he made friends with since transferring to this college. Along the way of becoming friends, they became a couple when Jackson finally asked him out and Jinyoung couldn’t be more happy to have him be his first boyfriend._

_Jackson was funny, a social butterfly, honest, warm, and sweet. He was the perfect boyfriend in Jinyoung’s eyes. He made his sophomore and junior years of college the best two years of his life._

_There break up came up naturally without any bad blood between them. They both simply grew apart and decided to remain close friends with one another. And like with every feeling he has for someone, Jinyoung wrote Jackson a heartfelt letter. They remained close until other reasons that came up had Jinyoung drifting away from him._

_That was another matter to dwell in on another time._

Jinyoung smiles to himself remembering the college days he shared with Jackson. It felt so long ago even though it had only been a few years.

“Park Jinyoung,” Jackson’s excited voice says from the entrance of the restaurant. “Long time no see!” Standing up from his chair Jackson engulfs him in a tight bear hug. “I’m so happy to see you!”

“Jackson, I can’t breathe.” Jinyoung musters out as Jackson releases him from his grasp.

Jackson flashes a cheeky smile at him, “Sorry, I’m just so happy to see you.” Motioning for Jinyoung to take a seat as he did so as well. Settling down in their seats they both ordered their food before getting into the reason why they were meeting in the first place.

Jinyoung can feel Jackson’s gaze on him as he took a sip of his water. The awkwardness was killing him. “Why are you staring at me like that?”

Jackson blinks a few times, “Like what?”

Motioning with his hand he points at Jackson, “You’re staring at me with those sparkles in your eyes.”

“I’m just so happy to see you. You haven’t really changed from the last time I remember seeing you. I mean, I guess you look more mature and buffer. Have you been working out?” Covering his face in embarrassment he hears Jackson’s familiar hyena laughs. “You’re still so easily embarrassed I see, Jinyoung.” 

“Shut up Wang,” Jinyoung replies back but couldn’t help but smile as well.

“Hey what happened to our Wang Gae and Park Gae nickname? But I mean it though. It’s really nice to see you again Jinyoung. I can’t remember the reason why we drifted apart. We promised to remain, good friends, after our break up remember?” A sad smile makes its way on Jackson’s face.

“I know, it-it just got complicated.” A questioning look appears on Jackson’s face who was about to ask more when the food came. “Can we talk about this after we finish eating dinner? Let’s just catch up with one another for now.” Jinyoung watches as Jackson opens his mouth to say something before closing his mouth. Nodding his head in agreement Jinyoung lets out a breath he's been holding. He at least has until dinner to gather his thoughts to explain to Jackson about his letter and the reason why they drifted apart. 

Jackson looks the same as Jinyoung remembers him to be. Although, he was more mature and definitely more built for being a professional fencer now. His hair was the color of dark brown compared to the natural black he had back during their college days. Jinyoung found out Jackson plays for Korea’s fencing team and was happily in a relationship with someone for a year now. He was truly happy for Jackson as the Hong Kong native learned Jinyoung works for a popular journalist publishing company.

“That’s great! It was always your dream back in college. Glad it came true!” Jackson comments excitedly making Jinyoung smile. It felt great to finally smile after a long time. 

“The same goes for you too Wang Gae.” 

Waving the comment away Jackson leans forward from the table, “So how're your parents? Have they finally come around to accepting you for who you are?”

A sigh escapes Jinyoung lips as he takes a sip of red wine they both ordered during dinner, “No, you know how they are. I honestly think they never will. My mom is trying though I think.”

Jackson gives a sympathetic smile before changing the subject. “Okay, we’re done with dinner and I have to bring this up Jinyoung. I got your letter.” He lifts up the letter from off the table to show the younger.

Taking another sip of his wine Jinyoung feels relaxed and more prepared to talk about the letter. “I write a letter of words left unsaid to the ones I ever loved. When I want to put a crush or a relationship behind me I write them a letter, signed, dated, addressed, but never to be sent.” Jinyoung cannot recall the times he had recited this over the past few days. “I know we ended our relationship on good terms, but it still hurt you know? Back then I couldn’t help but wonder was there anything I could have done to help keep us closer together. So I wrote you a letter to let you know how I feel about you...about us...before I officially let go of our relationship.”

Jackson had remained quiet with a serious look on his face the whole time Jinyoung was explaining himself. Absorbing every word the younger has to say was one of Jackson's special traits that had Jinyoung falling for him back then. He made you feel important as he actually hung onto every word you said to him.

“You must think it’s silly, isn't it?” He asks when he was done talking.

“No, Jinyoung. I don’t think it’s silly at all. I’m sorry for making you think it was somehow your fault that we drifted apart.” Jackson takes Jinyoung’s hands that were on the table in his before squeezing it.

“It’s okay,” Jinyoung reassures, “I realized a year later that nothing could have stopped us from drifting. I feel so embarrassed about writing you that letter now.”

“Everybody has their way of moving on and this was simply yours. You don’t have to feel embarrassed about it.”

A chuckle escaped past Jinyoung’s lips, “Always so damn likable aren’t you, Jackson Wang?” He earns himself a laugh in return as Jackson sits back in his seat.

“You know it.”

Jinyoung could feel a small amount of weight lifting off his chest after talking about the letter to Jackson. He was relieved Jackson actually took the letter well. Perhaps it could be the same with Jaebeom?

“So who else did you write your letters to?” Both of them were relaxing and sipping their wine after talking things through. Jinyoung thinks he may have had a little more than he should. He feels his face flushing warm. 

Groaning he shakes his head at Jackson, “No way am I going to tell you. It’s embarrassing enough when you now know you were my one and only boyfriend thus far.”

“Oh come on, it’s not like I’m going to laugh at your face. I won’t tell anyone. I’m just curious.” 

Jinyoung knew he shouldn’t have spared a glance at Jackson who was making a puppy face. He could never really say no to those puppy dog eyes. One look and he was screwed. “Ugh, fine!”

“Yes!”

“But listen closely because I’m not going to repeat myself again. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir!” Jackson does a salute to lighten the mood which does a bit. 

“My first letter was to my best friend Jaebeom. He was my first crush. My last letter was to...um...Mark Tuan.” Jinyoung muttered the last part out quietly. Hoping Jackson hears it and doesn’t make him repeat himself again. Saying his name has Jinyoung’s heart skipping a beat. It was weird. Out of the three letters, he’s ever written normally the crush and love he has on that person slowly dwindles away. But for someone reason even after a good one and a half year of not seeing Mark Tuan his heart and stomach still do those skips and flips. Was he still in love with him?

“I’m not surprised you would have had a crush on Jaebeom. He’s hot. But Mark Tuan as in our close friend back in college Mark Tuan?” Jackson asks eyes slightly widen in shock.

“I’m not going to repeat myself nor answer your question.” 

“Okay, okay,” Jackson says, “wow...it’s just...I mean-I guess my hunch on you having a crush on him was right.”

“You knew?!” The younger exclaims in horror earning a few looks there way.

“I mean I always had a feeling which made me always wondered if something was going one between the two of you.”

Jinyoung quickly dismisses that idea, “There wasn't anything between us, I had a crush on him. He never liked me that way.” 

“Are you sure? I mean he-”

“I’m sure. I heard him telling you once that he would never cross that line with me because I’m your ex.” Memories of that day flash in his mind. How he overheard Mark’s conversation to Jackson through his apartment door. It was the day he was going to confess to Mark too.

“Jinyoung I think you-” 

Jackson’s phone ring cutting him off mid-sentence. Fetching his phone and answering it he sends an apologetic look towards Jinyoung who simply waved it away. Besides he thinks their conversation is done. When Jackson finally hung up the phone Jinyoung had already asked the waiter for their checks.

“Sorry about that it was my boyfriend. He wanted me to pick up a few things for him before going over to his house.” Jackson explains.

“It’s fine Jackson, besides I think we should call it a night. It’s getting late anyway.” As they both got up from their seats and headed out of the restaurant the both of them shared a long hug.

“I’m glad I received your letter Jinyoung. It’s good to see you again.” 

“I’m amazed you still live in the same apartment.”

Both men shared a knowing smile just like old times.

“Oh, hey, before you go I think I should return this letter back to you.” Bringing out the letter in his hand for Jinyoung to take the younger can only stare at it. With a shake of his head, Jinyoung gently pushes the letter back to Jackson’s chest with a smile.

“You should keep it or do whatever you want with it. I think the letter should finally go to its rightful owner.”

Returning a smile Jackson pockets the letter before giving Jinyoung another hug.

“Keep in touch alright? Don’t be a stranger again.”

“I won’t.”

♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any grammatical errors! Merry Christmas Eve! <3


	3. Part 02

♡

Jinyoung thinks he’s ready to face his best friend. After meeting up with Jackson it gave him the courage and to give Jaebeom some answers. After all, the poor guy deserved it after being ghosted for almost a week. 

Today was his day off work so he spent a good half of his morning catching up on the sleep he had lost this week. He was ready to make a call to Jaebeom when he hears his cousin’s voice from downstairs.

“Jinyoung hyung!” Yugyeom’s voice booms throughout the house. He could hear the heavy footsteps making its way up the stairs. Next thing he knows his door bursts open revealing his exciting cousin. “Look what came back in the mail today!” Waving a letter in the air Yugyeom plops right down on his bed to sit beside him.

Jinyoung eyes widen in surprise because a familiar-looking envelope was in Yugyeom’s hand.

His cousin hands over the letter to him, “One of your letters returned back to you! I guess the person no longer lives there. This is good news, right? 

This was good news, right? So how come he’s feeling disappointed that the letter was returned back to him? Did he want Mark Tuan to receive and read his letter? Did he want him to come and meet him just like how Jackson did? 

‘That’s nonsense. You don’t want him to ever find out you liked him in the first place.’ Shaking his head Yugyeom taps him on the shoulder to ask him a question.

“Hyung, who is this letter intended for?” 

Staring at the letter in his hand, it was the last one he ever wrote to a boy. Looking at the unopened letter brings back fond memories of the person he still seems to have lingering feelings for.

_Jinyoung first met Mark Tuan halfway through his junior year of college. It was after he had broken up with Jackson. Like Jackson, Mark was a foreigner who was American Taiwanese from Los Angeles. The LA native wanted to study abroad for his college years and picked Korea. He was a year older than Jackson and him which meant he met them during his last year of college._

_Jackson was the one who first met Mark and introduced him to Jinyoung from one of his class courses. The three of them naturally became close. The guy was only an inch or two shorter than Jinyoung with black hair. He was lean but built underneath the hoodies he preferred to always wear. Similar to Jackson, he had a burst of high pitched laughter with cute canine-like teeth that show whenever he smiled._

_Jinyoung and Jackson never hid the fact that they dated to Mark. It never got awkward, that is. until Jinyoung started viewing him differently._

_Jackson got busy to hang out with them most of the time leaving Mark and Jinyoung to hang out by themselves. Mark was the opposite of Jackson. He was not a complete social butterfly and tended to stick to a few close friends. And he and Jinyoung got along so well, even more so than Jackson which Jinyoung had to admit. Of course, there was Jaebeom but that's different. They were both quiet people and found peace and comfort within each other. They both preferred midnight movies, strolling at night, and were ‘foxes’ (stated by Jackson) when it came to playing games._

_Jinyoung found himself falling for the American Taiwanese all too fast. Never before has this happened from the last two men he had ever loved. He was so comfortable with him. Jinyoung found himself letting his head fall on the male’s shoulder whenever they laughed a little too hard. Mark didn’t seem to mind since he never pointed it out. Nor did he pointed out the occasional hand entwining whenever their hands came close to each other which was often. From sitting beside each other on the couch to sitting across one another while doing their homework._

_Mark never said anything which made Jinyoung think perhaps he felt the same way too. After a month of contemplating whether he should confess he finally worked up the courage to do so. They still had a good five months before school was out and before Mark graduated since he was a senior. They could make this work._

_Jinyoung remembers being nervous the whole way to Mark’s studio apartment. He planned on surprising him with a visit bringing with him their favorite chocolate turtle ice cream by the convenience store near his apartment. They would watch a movie while eating their ice cream and by the end of the movie they would always end up snuggling against one another. Mark claims as Jinyoung quotes, ‘The damn heater still isn’t working even after they fixed it.’ Jinyoung never complained though. He liked wrapping one of his arms around Mark’s waist and the older laying his head in the crook of his neck. He loved smelling his shampoo that smells like vanilla and almonds. However, this time during their snuggling session Jinyoung was going to confess._

_Skipping up the stairs to Mark’s apartment Jinyoung swings the black bag of ice cream back an forth. Just as he pulls up to Mark’s apartment door intending to knock he stops midair when he hears Mark talking from inside. Perhaps because it was late and the apartment hall was quiet Jinyoung could make out the words._

_“Jackson, I would never cross that line with Jinyoung. He’s your ex-boyfriend.”_

_Hearing those words felt like being doused with a bucket of cold water. Had he mistaken all those silent affections to be love, but all this time it had meant nothing to Mark? Mark would never cross that line with him because he dated Jackson?_

_“Mark, he’s my ex-boyfriend but that doesn’t mean...” Jackson’s voice faded as Jinyoung walks back the way he came from. He was done listening, besides, he knew everything he needed to know right? Mark would never like him because they were all friends. And he was right. Things would be awkward. Jinyoung hated himself for being so stupid to think it was ever alright to date your other friend who’s also good friends with your ex-boyfriend. Who was he kidding?_

_That night he cried in his dorm eating ice creams he meant to share with Mark, meanwhile, watching Harry Potter through streaming tears and his roommate pitied him. When he deemed he was done crying he does what he normally do to help get rid of his feelings._

_______________________

_Dear Mark,_

_In this lifetime, you are the third man I have ever fallen in love with. We can communicate without actual words needing to be said and find comfort in each other’s silence. You feel like home, a place where I feel like I could always come back to after a tiring long day. And I think to find a person who can give you that is hard to come by in a lifetime. I sometimes picture us together and it makes me smile. Unfortunately, under certain circumstances, we can never get past that line of friendship. With this letter, I’m telling you how I feel and closing the door for my feelings for you. I wish you nothing but the best. I’ll surely miss you being my home._   
  


_Love,  
Jinyoung_   
  


_______________________

_After that day Jinyoung found himself slowly drifting away from both Jackson and Mark. He was distant and he knew he was acting awkward around both of them, especially with Mark. The older always had a look of confusion and hurt written over his face whenever Jinyoung pulled himself away from him. Making excuses for homework and having planned other social events with friends. Soon enough they stopped hanging out. Mark eventually graduated and a year later so did Jackson and Jinyoung. Life moved forward._

The sound of children’s laughter brings Jinyoung back to the present. He must have drifted off into thinking about Mark again. After getting the letter back from Yugyeom he denied telling his cousin who this letter was for. Shoving Yugyeom out of his room he closes the door on him to gather his courage to call his best friend. Just like last time his best friend picked up on the second ring probably from expecting his call this whole week. Similar to Jackson they both agreed to meet at a place familiar to them both. A childhood park was where they decided to on. Jinyoung can remember the countless times he and Jaebeom had spent playing here when they were younger. The last time he remembers being here was during his high school days. His phone buzzed in his pocket indicating he just received a text message. Taking his phone out it was a message from Jackson.

**‘Hey, Jinyoung! What’s the address to your house?’**   
  


**Jackson 14:37**

Texting back a quick ‘why’ he receives another message quickly.

**‘Just wanted to send a holiday gift to you!’**   
  


**Jackson 14:38**

Not thinking much about it he quickly sends a text message of his current address before pocketing his phone once more. Looking back across the park Jinyoung snickers recalling Jaebeom sporting a mullet during his senior year of high school. Jaebeom’s parents were not a big fan of his hairstyle, but Jinyoung thought his hyung looked cool. He remembers pulling on the mullet whenever Jaebeom walked ahead of him. Even though they ended up going to different colleges, they still remained close. They made sure to see one another now and then whenever their school schedules allowed them to. He had told him about Jackson and Mark, nothing gets past his best friend. After all, he was his most trusted confidante. 

By the entrance of the children's park, Jinyoung sees Jaebeom making his way over to him. The guy had on a black puffer jacket and sporting a black headband as he had tied his hair half up. He had been growing it slightly long. The light hits him slightly making the jewel of his nose piercing shine momentarily. Jinyoung remembers Jaebeom dragging him to the piercing shop to be his moral support last year. 

Jaebeom gives a small wave of his hand as he makes eye contact with him. They were quiet as his best friend took the unoccupied seat beside him on the bench. Jinyoung observes the children playing at the playground not wanting to talk quite yet. He was grateful Jaebeom didn’t jump right into the situation knowing he needed time to collect his thoughts.

“Did you know the first time we ever met was here at this park?”

Jaebeom glances to his side to observe him as Jinyoung kept his eyes glued ahead. “Yeah, we were like what seven years old?”

A smile grows over Jinyoung’s face, “I was sitting on that swing where the kid with the blue jacket is currently at.” Pointing his finger towards that direction he continues to speak, “For some reason, nobody wanted to play with me. You must have taken pity on me and came over to invite me to play with you and the other boys.” Jinyoung lets out a slight chuckle, “I was grateful for what you did and you didn’t mind me sticking by your side since that day. You became a valuable person I treasure in my life. You never looked at me and treated me differently when I came out to you.”

Turning to meet Jaebeom’s gaze his eyes shift to the letter in his hand before back up to his face. “Somewhere during my childhood life, I fell for you. I knew I shouldn’t because you would never return my feelings for you. And I didn’t want to tell you because I was scared that things would get awkward between us. You have to understand you were the closest person in my life at that time. I couldn’t lose you too in my life. Nobody wanted to talk to the homosexual kid except for the females and certain males.” Pointing at the letter its outer appearance seemed the most faded compared to the other two letters. “I like to write letters for the one I loved to help me move on with my feelings. So I wrote that letter to you seven years ago to help move on with my feelings. I don’t like you like that anymore Jaebeom. This letter was never meant to be read by you. Yugyeom sent it thinking I was going to send them, that idiot.”

After finishing his explanation Jinyoung nervously glances at his best friend who had stayed silent the whole time. He didn’t know what he was thinking since his blank facade masked what he was feeling.

“I guess...I’m flattered that you liked me back then. Was I your first male crush?” Jaebeom jokes. Rolling his eyes Jinyoung punches Jaebeom on the arm. Although the corner of his lips couldn’t help but turn upwards slightly.

“You are not my first male crush okay.”

“You’re probably right, it’s Justin Timberlake isn’t it?”

“Shut up!”

Jaebeom laughs as he wraps an arm around his shoulder. “But you were my first real crush.” Jinyoung confesses looking at his best friend with a smile who returns it.

“I’m honored, I must have been so handsome in your eyes,” Jaebeom smirked as Jinyoung pretends to gag. “But you should know me better. I wouldn’t cut you off my life just because you liked me. You think too much Jinyoung, that’s one of your downfalls. I mean, it would have probably been awkward but we would eventually get over it. We're family." 

“Thanks, Beomie and I’m sorry for ghosting you for a week.”

“You better be you little shit. Did you know how stressed I was this whole week with questions left unanswered? Sumi kept asking if I was constipated.” Jaebeom complains. Sumi was Jaebeom’s girlfriend of three years. They had met during their junior year of college under the same major as photography. Jinyoung laughs from the last comment hugging his stomach as he does so. “You would not believe how relieved I was when you finally called and decided to meet up.” Jaebeom grumbles.

“Sorry hyung, should I explain the situation to Sumi?”

“Don’t bother, I explained what was going on to her.” 

Jinyoung wasn’t surprised that he didn’t hide this fact from his girlfriend. “Was she shocked by the news?”

“She took it pretty well actually.”

“Let me guess, she didn’t really care?” Jinyoung guesses and laughs as Jaebeom’s face says it all. “She’s still as cool and chic as ever.”

“Whatever, but now that we have this solved you owe me some fried chicken for ghosting me for a week Jinyoung.” Standing up Jaebeom stretched his back as he groans.

“Yeah yeah, old man.” Getting up from the bench Jinyoung runs ahead of Jaebeom in case he was going to grab him in a headlock.

“Yah!”

Jinyoung was in high spirits as he drove home that night. Everything was solved. He talked it out with Jaebeom and Jackson. Mark’s letter returned back to him which meant he never received the letter in the first place so he wouldn’t have known. Everything was fixed just a few days before Christmas. Perfect.

Entering the house he found Yugyeom in the living room couch watching a movie by himself while eating popcorn. He must have noticed Jinyoung smiling because he asked if everything was fine now. Taking a seat beside his cousin he takes a piece of popcorn from the bowl.

“Yeah, I talked things through with Jaebeom and Jackson. The last letter came back to me so everything is solved.”

“I’m glad, I was seriously afraid of you losing hair with all the stress you were going through.” Yugyeom jokes as Jinyoung glares at him.

“And whose fault was that I wonder?” He was about to bicker some more when the doorbell rang.

“Not it! But it could be the pizza man since I ordered pizza about thirty minutes ago.” Yugyeom touches his nose like a kid as Jinyoung rolls his eyes. Getting up from the couch he walks to the front door to see who it was. He was expecting a male dressed in blue. However, there stood a man dressed in a fine black dress shirt, suit pants, oxford shoes, and a wool coat. His hair was black making his pale skin stand out. Jinyoung heart skipped a beat not only because he was handsome, but because the man standing at his front door was Mark Tuan.

“Hi, Jinyoungie.”

♡

“Hi, Jinyoungie.”

Mark Tuan was standing in his front door. How is this possible?

“M-mark, what are you doing here? How do you even know I live here?” Jinyoung asks, confuse as Mark looks down to his feet then back up at him.

“Um, Jackson told me where you live actually.”

Jinyoung curses at his ex-boyfriend under his breath. He knew that man was up to something when he asked for his address during today’s afternoon. Biting the bottom of his lip nervously he asks again, “What are you doing here?”

Mark rubs the back of his nape nervously, “Jackson told me about the letters and how you wrote me one as well.”

Jinyoung was going to murder Jackson Wang. He said he wouldn’t tell anyone! That little liar. He stayed quiet not knowing what to say or how to get out of this situation. 

“What’s going on? Is it the pizza delivery man?” Yugyeom’s voice startles Jinyoung as he whipped his head around to look at his cousin.

“N-nothing! We’re going to go talk outside!” Pushing Mark further out the front porch Jinyoung doesn’t wait for Yugyeom to say something and closes the door behind him. Turning back around he looks at a confused Mark. “What makes you think I have the letter back?”

“I no longer live at the studio apartment so I’m guessing it must have returned back to you.” Mark explains stuffing his hands in his coat pocket.

“Even if I did, it belongs back to me now. I don’t have to give it to you.” What he said sounded completely childish and he knows, but he can’t take back his words now, could he? A wide smile graces Mark’s face before he tries to contain it by biting back his smile. “You find this funny?”

“No! Not at all, it’s just...you’re still as adorable and cute as I remembered.” 

Mark’s words sounded so genuine that Jinyoung couldn’t help but feel himself blushing somewhat. 

“We haven’t seen each other for more than a year and you’re acting as if we’re still close,” Jinyoung mutters, a crestfallen face dances across Mark’s face. An awkward silence forms itself between them. He suddenly feels bad for making the older sad.

“It has been a year and a half hasn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

“Why did you stopped talking to me?” A knock from the glass by the front door catches both Mark and Jinyoung’s attentions. Yugyeom was still standing by the front door and was currently waving at them.

“Do you guys want to come inside?!” He yells through the glass door.

Mark couldn’t hide his amused smile as Jinyoung hides his face in his hands in embarrassment. ”Let’s go somewhere else away from my cousin to talk.” Motioning for Mark to follow him they ended up sitting at the front porch away from Yugyeom who could only stare at their backs.

Staring out to the house across from them Jinyoung feels Mark’s eye not so discreetly glimpsing at him now and then. “So...why did you stopped talking to me?” 

“Because I don’t think we could have stayed friends.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Things would have been hard for me.”

“Why?”

“Would you stop asking why Mark?!” Feeling frustrated with all the bombarded questions Jinyoung couldn’t help but yell and feel guilty right after. “I-just please let me gather my thoughts together.” Mark grants his wish by remaining quiet waiting for his explanation.

“I wanted to confess you back then. I had this whole idea planned out. I was going to surprise you one night unannounced with those turtle ice cream we love so much. We were going to eat it while watching a movie and end up cuddling on the couch as usual. When the movie is over I would confess to you how I feel.” Thinking about it now puts a bittersweet smile on his face. He looks directly at Mark’s handsome face, “Right when I got to your apartment about a year and a half ago I overheard you speaking with Jackson. How you would never cross that line with me because I was Jackson’s ex-boyfriend. It was silly of me to think you were into me. I mistook your friendship as love.” 

“That night you were there?” The older asks his eyes widen in horror.

A stricken look of pain crosses Jinyoung’s face just thinking about it again. “Unfortunately, yes, I was and I heard you.”

“But you didn’t hear the other half of the conversation.”

“No, I left before I could hear anymore. I got my answer pretty clear.” 

Jinyoung watches as Mark smiles at him lovingly, “You’re an idiot you know that Jinyoung? Who leaves after only hearing half of the conversation and not the other half?”

“Excuse me?” With scandalous eyes, Jinyoung jabs Mark on the chest with his forefinger, “How am I an idiot for walking away from a love that would not be reciprocated? You spelled it out pretty clearly. You tell me, Tuan!” 

“Because I was in love with you too.” Mark’s sudden confession has Jinyoung dropping his hand that was poking the man’s chest in shock. “That night I asked Jackson to come over so I could confess that I liked you. I told him I would never cross that line with you because you were his ex-boyfriend. But I would only cross that line _if_ and _only if_ Jackson was okay with it.”

“So...what did Jackson say?”

“He told me just because your his ex-boyfriend it does not mean he does not want to see you happy. He had a hunch you liked me and would want to see you be happy with someone.” Taking Jinyoung’s hands in his Mark gives it a squeeze, “After that day I was going to find a day to hang out with you and confess my feelings for you. But then you started to avoid me and I got busy with graduating. I thought you just suddenly didn’t want to be me nor Jackson’s friend anymore. Thinking that stung. Even though you stopped hanging around Jackson and me, we remained close after college.”

“Are you telling me I ruined my own chance of love with you?” Jinyoung voice was quivering inquiring an answer. He couldn’t stop the tears from brimming in his eyes. He feels like a complete idiot for ruining something that could have blossomed so beautifully between Mark and him. 

“Hey, hey, why are you crying?” Mark asks wiping away Jinyoung’s tears.

“I am an idiot! I ruined my chance with you and now that moment has passed.”

“I’m only kidding about the idiot part...” The older tries to joke, “I don’t think the moment has ever passed. I think it’s only been waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself.”

“What-do-you-me-an?” Jinyoung hiccups in between each word ask.

Mark goes to cup Jinyoung’s face in his hand before caressing his cheeks with his thumbs. “It means I’m still in love with you. The only question is are you still in love with me?”

Did Jinyoung hear right? Mark was in love with him? Was he still in love with Mark?

“Yes,” The words spilled out of his lips without needing to think about it. The pounding in his heart and butterflies in his stomach says it all. All these feelings he had for Mark never seemed to have ever left. Instead, it felt stronger than ever. His hair was ever so tempting to brush his fingers through. The vanilla almond scent of his shampoo has him wanting to put his head in the crook of Mark’s neck just to give a soft peck there. And those lips, he had dreamt many nights before wondering just how they would feel. 

“Out of the three men in my life I have ever loved I don’t think I have ever stopped loving you.” Jinyoung confessed.

A beautiful smile appears on Mark’s face as he brings his face closer to him, “I love you.”

The kiss was slow and tender as the two of them just bathe in the comfort of being in each other’s arm. They only broke apart when both of them needed to catch their breath. That was when Jinyoung noticed the white particles falling down from the sky.

“It’s the first snow of the year.” He whispers out as Mark looks up at the night sky too.

“You mean it’s our first snow of the year together as a couple.” Jinyoung forgot how cheesy the older could be but he feels himself smiling nonetheless. He suddenly shivered from the cold, now that it was snowing the night air was colder than before. “Hey, you’re shivering we should get you back inside.”

But Jinyoung refuses to go back inside the house. He has just gotten together with the older whom he hadn’t seen for a while. This all feels like a dream in which he doesn’t want it to wake up yet. “I’m okay, I want to spend my time with you a little bit longer.”

Mark chuckles at his words before taking off his black wool coat to put around Jinyoung. “You need this more than me right now.” 

Jinyoung didn’t argue with his offer, instead, he pulls the jacket closer to his body taking in the sweet scent of Mark. He hopes the smell rubs off on his clothes so he could take the scent back with him inside.

“So about your letter...do you want it?” Jinyoung asks sheepishly earning Mark’s high pitched laugh.

“Oh, now you decide it’s okay to give it to me?” Mark questions back jokingly.

“Hey, it’s only fair that you get to keep yours too if Jackson and Jaebeom get to keep theirs,” Jinyoung confesses with a pout.

“Woah, they got to keep theirs? That makes it ever the more for you to give my letter to me in the first place!” Mark argues back.

“If we’re going to be arguing about this I don’t have to give you your letter,” Jinyoung warns as Mark wraps his arm around his body to pull him into his embrace.

“I’m only joking Jinyoungie you know that,” Mark whines cutely.

Jinyoung giggles, “I know Tuan, so where were you before you got here? You’re dressed up so nicely.”

Mark puts his head on Jinyoung’s shoulder, “Oh this? I came from a holiday party at work. I received a call from Jackson telling me about all this. I just left the party after that to come to you.”

“So Jackson brought you to me?”

“I guess.”

“Funny, he said he wanted to send me a holiday gift. Not sure if he intended it to be a lie or an actual Christmas gift being you.”

“Who knows, you can always ask him yourself.”

♡

Jinyoung thinks this Christmas was the best one yet as he watches his close friends and loves one converse among themselves. After Mark and he got together they went on two dates before Christmas was here. His cousin Yugyeom was happy to hear Jinyoung got together with one of the men he ever loved. The guy deemed himself as his cupid saying, ‘If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t have met back Mark hyung and be together. You owe me a thank you don’t you think?’ He wanted to deck him, but Mark wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into his chest as Yugyeom stuck his tongue out at him. It’s safe to say Yugyeom adores Mark more than Jinyoung already.

He found out that Mark was working in a law firm considering he was majoring in law back in college. Back then Jinyoung thought the older looked hot while studying his law textbooks. Now he found him even hotter as a lawyer.

“Jinyoung, we’re about to exchange gifts come on.” Jaebeom’s voice says as he taps him on the shoulder. All of Jinyoung’s friends were over at the Kim’s to celebrate Christmas together. Jaebeom brought his girlfriend over who hugged him when she got here. Saying she felt terribly sorry for him falling in love with an idiot as a joke. Jaebeom whined in the background as Jinyoung could only laugh.

Youngjae came over with his dog CoCo who he dressed up in a cute Santa Claus outfit. Bambam came over which wasn’t a surprise since he was Yugyeom’s partner and crime. 

Jinyoung invited Jackson and his boyfriend over as well. Although, his boyfriend couldn’t make it Jackson passed on the message that he wished him a ‘Merry Christmas’ and thanked him for the invitation.

“Let’s go Jinyoungie.” Mark's hand touches his before entwining them in his. And of course, Jinyoung made sure to invite his boyfriend over to spend their first Christmas together.

Everybody gathered into the living room as everyone grabbed the gifts they got to exchange with whoever. Jinyoung watches quietly and waited for his turn. He gave Yugyeom a new set of earphones and received a box with a lock on it in return with a card saying, ‘For future better letter protection.’ He gave Jaebeom a new set of camera lenses and received a new small bookshelf for his ever-growing book collection. For Youngjae he got him a new gaming keyboard who was elated. In return, he received two coupons to a fancy restaurant that he wishes he would take Mark too.

Jinyoung didn’t have enough time to consider what to actually get Jackson as a gift. Together with Mark, during their second date, they both got him a small pet cactus as a gift for Christmas and for getting them together. Jackson appreciated the gesture and hugged both of them in a tight bear hug.

Mark had given Jinyoung a couple ring that had everyone ‘oohing’ which made Jinyoung flush red in embarrassment. As everyone was almost done passing their gifts Jinyoung glances down at his last gift to give in his hand. He didn’t have enough time to get Mark a better gift and could only think of writing him a letter.

“Hey, Mark?”

“Hmm, Jinyoungie?” Mark turns to look at him with sparkles in his eyes that only seems to be reserved for him. His heart skipped a beat every time the older looks at him like that.

“Merry Christmas,” Extending the letter out to Mark the older takes it slowly in his hand, “I know it isn’t much, but I hope you like my gift to you. I wrote you another letter.” He watches nervously as Mark brushes his finger across the envelope. Mark breaks out into a grin.

“A _second_ letter from Park Jinyoung huh? I feel extremely honored to receive this. This isn’t a breakup letter is it?”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s sense of humor, “If you keep at it I’m taking the letter back.”

“But you gave it to me so it belongs to me now. I don’t have to give it to you.” Those sounded like similar words that Jinyoung had once said to him. Mark laughs seconds later as he wraps Jinyoung in his arms.

“Are you using my own words against me? I can’t believe you, I’m taking my letter back.” Reaching for the letter Mark quickly hides it behind his back.

“Nuh-uh! It belongs to me now!”

“Hey, lovebirds!” Jaebeom calls out to them from across the room. Both Mark and Jinyoung look to him with confusion. He points his finger upward gesturing for them to look up. 

There they found a mistletoe placed right above them by Jackson with a mischievous smirk. “Come on Mark, give it your all!” 

Mark's signature high-pitched laughter fills the room. Just as how Jinyoung remembers Mark to be, he never backs down from a challenge. Pulling Jinyoung in by the neck he awaits for Mark’s lips to touch his. 

♡

_____________________

_Dear Mark,_

_This is another letter from me to you. Our every first is unfamiliar yet exciting and blissful. I am delighted to share another start with you. Inside a space filled with light, we are splendid. And I know for a fact, you are the person harmonious to my colors. After almost a year and a half apart you still feel like home. I don’t count on losing it ever again._

_P.S. I love you._

_Love,_

_Jinyoung_

_____________________

♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas! I hope you enjoyed this short story. I apoloize for any grammatical errors.❤


End file.
